We are the Number Pirates, the two men who legally stole mathematics right from under their nose with our superior intellect.

Brief Description

Using our unique number system and numerical switch system, we intend to build technology which is far superior to the existing calulators, computers, GPS systems and various other technologies, which we wish to reinvent and innovate for efficiency and precision. Therefore our organization (through our new numerical language which is extremely superior to mathematics) will build and distribute computers and various other technology of a new design, replacing companies such as Apple, Google and Microsoft to begin with, all other industries will follow.

Learn these concepts in Numerical Understanding

26/4/2024

Hello everyone, sorry we're still in Australia.

I (Michael) know nobody wants us here and nobody here will help us, and everyone is telling us to get out of their country while writing on local toilet blocks "no god".

Well too bad Australia, it looks like you're stuck with us.

We did our best to get out of the country early hours this morning (26th April), but we were unsuccessful. Everybody knows our car over here by now, especially with our Queensland number plates ending with "JC5". Earlier this week, I stole a pair of Victorian number plates near the Tullamarine airport. I truly am sorry to the inconvenience of the owner of the vehicle that we stole them from and I was sure that the police would find the plates on our car dumped in Port Melbourne. We were looking for a small boat that we could flog to catch one of the ships in the shipping lane. After realizing no one ties up boats anymore like they did in the 80s, I realized ANZAC day was coming up and I couldn't stand the thought of not honouring the ANZACs one last time. We decided to abandon our plan and go back to our car which was locked with the keys inside, and unfortunately I had to smash the passenger window to get back into our car.

I guess I should have checked the beach for boats first, well I guess I can be a dumbass at times too.

After cutting our hair and changing our looks and donning plain clothing, I had a new plan to escape from Australia. We parked our car in Williams Town Rd in Port Melbourne and left the keys inside, and perhaps we would be lucky and someone would move our car to another location. After dumping our car and most of our possessions, we headed off to the Web St Docks in Port Melbourne which was only a couple of kilometres away. The plan was simple, to walk straight through the gates early in the morning when the trucks were going through. The pair of us dressed in full black with hoodies, came from the beach side, scoped along the fence lines and seen a couple of ships in the dock. We followed the fence line to the front gates and boldly walked in straight along the fence lines, fully lit up with nothing to hide us at all. We had three sections of security to get past and we just boldly kept walking along trying to time the gates as trucks were going through but boldly kept walking when there were no trucks anyway. Jack just kept projecting the thought "I'm a ghost" while I was projecting the thought "nothing to see here, just checking the fences". This was one of my most awesome plans yet and worked even better than I thought considering there was no cover and we were the only clowns on foot in the facility.

But like all good plans, if you haven't researched, it is doomed to fail.

Once we got through the three security gates onto the docks, I was stunned to realize they only load the ships by cranes and there is no way to get on or off the ships at the port. I didn't know that the ships didn't have gangways, whoops. First mistake, but we weren't giving up yet. When one of the forkies spotted us and was tooting and yelling that we had to stay where we are, we started walking back towards the gates, though he rang security and they picked us up. We told them we were French deckhands by the names of "Ben Deliu" and "Frank Deliu" and that we lost our boat. I said my nephew doesn't speak much english so I would speak. When they asked why I have an Australian accent, I told them I lived here 20 years ago and they bought it. They asked me how we got off the boat without gangways, so I said we were dropped off at the beach so we could get ice coffee and smokes, which is all we had on us apart from our hard drive and Jack's insulin for his diabetes. I told them that I don't have a good memory and we had forgotten what boat we were on and what cargo it contained, I just said "I'm sure there's a boat missing two deckhands and that's our boat". They said they needed to speak to Frank and that they would get a French interpreter in.

Hmmm, this is a problem, mistake number two, what happens when they find out Jack (Frank) doesn't speak french, so I said "he speaks a little bit of english, he should be okay". When they started questioning him, they asked "why does he speak with an Australian accent?", to which I replied "he has picked it up from me because I taught him english" and they said "that makes sense". Second mistake averted, but still dealing with the first mistake of how do we get on a boat. The poor police that were there to deal with us unfortunately wasted an hour of their time trying to get onto the french government and the french consulate to work out which boat we came from, and were trying to work out which boats were missing two deckhands. After they realized the french government didn't have any records of us, they were positive that we were illegal workers on the boat and didn't have passports, and they even wondered if we were at the wrong dock as I suggested.

Unfortunately for me, I could see how concerned the police were for us, and considering how good the police have been to us in the last year, I have been feeling like they are the only friends I have in this country, and I was looking at the star on their chest and knew I could not keep up the charade any longer. I decided to tell Jack that the jig was up and decided to tell them the truth and our true names. I also decided to tell them about our car and the stolen plates on it because I didn't want the owner getting in trouble for my hooning around trying to hide from black cars which I've since realized are trying to keep us safe rather than trying to harass us like I'd thought. The Victorian police were horrified that they had to charge me. They realized that Jack had nothing to do with this, I brought him out of autism and I am the only one he will listen to and would die for me. He does not have a mean bone in his body and is intensely loyal as all good men should be to their instructors. I have never been charged for anything, this is my first set of charges, and will have to answer to these charges at the Melbourne Magistrate Court on the 15th of July.

No one can blame the police for me being charged for this, they did not harass us or bully us, but were rather sympathetic to our plight and were doing there best to help what they believed to be two lost men trying to find their way home as our story seemed to check out from the cameras from where we walked. They were not stupid, but were rather caught in an insidious game, after all, no one has ever tried to sneak onto a port in Australia, they only sneak off the boats. Apparently we are the first to pull this stunt in Port Melbourne and possibly Australia. The real villains behind this insidious game is a country full of people and government who keep telling us "we don't want your help and no one will help you, why don't you just piss off from our country". As our government have been playing funny bugger with Centrelink and other departments to make life hard for us and they wouldn't register our organization. Every time I leave my wife, Centrelink refuses to seperate us, starving us out, giving my advance to my ex, and not helping us in any way unless we do as they say and keep going back to Queensland to a fake wife. Well Queensland is run by the Schiffs. I've had enough of this country with people giving us dirty looks, taking picures of us and our car, laughing at us, making a mockery while gay bikies yell out proudly "I'm gay, I'm gay" while smiling and laughing at me, meanwhile filthy mutts write on dunny entrances "NO GOD".

So I've had enough of this god forsaken country, but I obviously wouldn't get out through legal channels and I'm not pulling any illegal stunts for mutts who don't appreciate mine and Jack's efforts. No one has thanked us for the 12 years of work we've put in with no appreciation. So you're stuck with me and Jack in Australia whether you all like us or not, so I guess we are in for a pretty shit life, big deal. It's funny that people say they were built in god's image, yet mankind disagrees and says that god should be built in their image and they won't stop bullying, harassing, lying, provoking, and starving us out while stealing my memories until they can make sure that god breaks every one of his commandments so they can all say "fuck you, we're better than you cunt, now we get to judge you". I suppose all that's left is for these cunts in this country to get me locked up in an errectional facility so they can have me raped just to say "haha, now you're even gay too".

I cannot believe that 26 million people in this country get to decide whether I'm allowed to help the 8,000 million people of this planet because evidently this is not my country. Is there any place on this planet where me and Jack belong, because there doesn't seem to be too many men on this planet standing up for the truth, and how is Adam Schiff running this country when he doesn't even live here, and the matriarch Masons, like the tweed breed, who proudly announce that they are matriarch run are running this country saying "shut your mouth, we don't have big mouths, the children don't need to know, it's not going to happen". Most criminal organizations and bikie gangs in this country are pussy mammas boys taking orders from women's liberation, which works for Adam Schiff directly, and they have not overcome. These slags in the Masons are really testing my patience, and perhaps we should put them in muzzles. I would love to get out of your country you bitches, but your boss want's to make me his bitch, so I guess you're all stuck with me then. Just know that I'm gonna be pissed off at all women here because Cindy can't come back to Australia and I can't get out, so while my heart is broken, don't expect me to be happy with anyone.

God will be judged on the 15th of July, that's what you all wanted and you can't blame the police for this one, they were very professional and are looking more like the only men in this country every day, and I am sorry I wasted so much of their time last night as I am sure they are very busy trying to control the rest of you maniacs. Give them some respect you maggots. Batman only deals with the police now, everyone else talks crap. Wake up to yourself Australia, I'm not impressed. Stop your crime everyone, immediately, and everyone start being nice to everyone, and that's an order. Instead of judging people, guide them onto the right path rather than pushing them off.

I'm out on bail and I'm just a criminal now so go find yourselves a used car salesman like Zeus to sell you a load of crap because that's what you all want.

11/3/2024

The Tristmas Tree of Cubes

Hello everyone, it's been a good start to the fake new year.

Ozzy Slang Short Hand is now complete along with all of our keyboard designs for our Numerical Operating System (NOS), which include all of our runes and numes.

We have also just successfully flattened and hyjacked The Balagon of Cubes, and the design it makes is very exciting. The Tristmas Tree of Cubes proves that Tristmas is real, therefore the children have the right religion, Father Tristmas is real. Adults are all wrong and the children are right, the adults are all time stealing Grinches. Can everyone please grow up and start acting like children.

God Bless you all and Stay Safe,
The Number Pirates

This knowledge is the intellectual property of The Number Pirates and is reserved for the Screen Tech and Colour Tech in our NOS Operating System. ALL of our colours should be web safe, and our monitors, ink, and scans should match perfectly.

This knowledge is a component of Material Understanding which will replace Chemistry and Alchemy.